Friday, March 19, 2010

Lady GaGa - The rise of an Idiot.

Shockingly clever to morons and praised as 'exciting!' by boring people, the rebel pop princess Lady GaGa (who is obviously a giant tool) is currently being hailed as a relevant à la mode cultural commentator and artistic genius this side of cutting edge.

I was hoping to go long enough without having to formulate an opinion on the pseudo avant-garde artiste. And then this happened:

The Lady GaGa ft. Beyonce video

Lady Gaga has, once again, nabbed what is already out there in the media sphere, copy and pasted the best bits, covered it in thongs, shit and glitter and curated it as her self-created personal artistic vision. Tarentino loves it. Michael Gondry doesn't.

Telephone is another video that's a blur of pop and dance, supposedly groping and grinding its way in the direction of, ahem, 'female empowerment.' Oh yeah, and this time it's also “a commentary on being overfed communication and advertisements and food in the US” and about "the kind of country that we are." Hmm...vague. Lyrically, it's challenged.

Telephone is not just about someone trying to get hold of you in a club, it's about the GaGa feeling suffocated by the nagging voice she hears telling her she needs to get back to work...Deep. Anyway, we'll stop there because trying to further analyse GaGa's lyrics is like necromancy or dancing about accountancy – it's pointless.

Luckily, GaGa has a following of fans almost as dedicated as the Despair Faction or the CCP's very own 五毛党, otherwise known as the 50 cent party (not related to the rapper). At the time of writing the video had been viewed one billion times. Any criticism of the video that appeared on the cesspit of 'yoof' culture that is the Youtube comment board was met by GaGa fans with the ferocity of a Minotaur; explanations of the video were also offered to those of us who are too stupid to 'get' the meglomanic GaGa.

Th<3nx> jakuna3333, so you mean like GaGa and Beyonce are forced to put Flouride and shit in our food as part of a Communist Disney plot to take over the world?

So what do we have here then?

Well, she's led into jail, which is a continuation of a previous video and that's clever. Apparently. Then she makes a dig at the accusations (of her being a man) that not only plagued herself, but also Gwen Stefani and Dana International. This apparently shows some balls (if you excuse the pun). It is also revealed that she, in fact, has no sex organs at all.

GaGa then struts about the yard wearing some glasses made of, and containing, cigarettes. Why? Because, it's tedious and pretentious and will have people guessing for years to come. Probably something to do with hiding behind objects and the girl being attracted not to GaGa, but the smell of the cigarettes, which symbolize materialism...Wow. She's like deconstructing pop culture. I think my brain just fell out through my ears.

Next up, it's the start of the hideous product placement, but it's alright folks, because GaGa says it's iron-ik. She's meant to be making a mockery of product placement.

OK so Virgin were her tour sponsors and GaGa is the creative director for Polaroid; she is helping with Polaroid's product design and also features Polaroid in the video too...I mean that's like OK because...actually I can't even come up with a faux reason involving irony that an idiot GaGa fan would let dribble out his/her mouth here. Ironic or not, it's still product placement. In fact, it's jaw-droppingly similar to Bill Hick's predicted ultimate television commercial.

Videos like this need a huge budget and can only be made using product placement, so undoubtedly the product placement was necessary. Other pop stars wishing to compete will undoubtedly have to do the same thing, and music videos will just become another major ground for advertising. Thanks GaGa for exacerbating exactly what you were meant to be attempting to sabotage or critique.

Ah ha, then she morphs into a negative of Amy Winehouse and starts dancing in bra and thong, because it's an ironic take on the sexualisation of women, yeah? Cos like in music videos they are always half naked, yeah? Sure, I mean, it doesn't matter that GaGa is always strutting about in a leotard or thong of some description and has been quoted as saying she doesn't consider herself a feminist because she 'hails' men (thereby failing to give credit to the movement that tries to change the double standard she challenges and perpetuating the stupidly incorrect male hating stereotype).
Was she ironically being ironic about being ironic? Is everything Lady GaGa does ironic? Would she be an ironic vegetarian? Would she eat meat, ironically, whilst tittering and winking at vegetarian passers-by?

Anyway, then this happens:

I can like totally identify, Gah Gah, your body is a crime scene after being raped by the music/advertising industry/fame/men/money. Oh man, you're like even referencing the final scene from Michael Moore's, 'Capitalism: A Love Story,' without even realising it. So what do you propose we do about these issues?

Beyonce arrives in Quentin Tarantino's Pussy. Wagon and they share a metaphorical boner-lesbo moment. Beyonce sings, without the aid of (as much) product placement and so called ironic digs. Because a) she was too uncomfortable, b) she is too stupid and not ironic enough or c) she is so intelligent she was ironically not being ironic? You choose. I vote all three.

Anyway, it continues with lots of pop culture references, product placement and many people dying. Then, the realisation comes to you slowly but surely...oh it's like 'social commentary' on...America...Capitalism...celebrities used in advertising...ooh! obsession...and stuff...Brilliant(ly vague!)! Thanks GaGa you ambassador of no logos/labels/brands you!! OMG, you are like an in-telek-chall genie!! GaGa you should like totally get Naomi Klein to feature in your next video!!

Ooh I get it. Adverts/junk food/TV and is poison for our brains. You are a true pop philosopher.

Anyway, it doesn't end there. GaGa and Beyonce start dancing in stars and stripes outfits.

With a nauseating excitement you realise they are surrounded by corpses! What does this mean? Is she referencing Thriller? Then BAM! The TRUTH hits you like an atom bomb in the face. They are America! America dances on while people are dead/dying. Whether it's due to Aids, starvation, advertising or war, isn't important. The idea is enough to evoke anarchy. The viewer walks away (because the end of the video is just more pop culture references) shattered, but empowered having been shown the truth.

Nice one GaGa. You have managed to change my entire world view in 9 1/2 minutes. Before I was politically apathetic and now I'm like not, yeah? So I'm off to wave both middle fingers at McDonalds, The Government and your Polaroid adverts, then smoke some glasses.

"(ad)verts b-b-b-buzzing thru ma brain/It's driving me ins-s-s-sane/What's d-d-d-driving us isn't passion, music and art/We need to get off this train."
Or something.
GaGa promotes Polaroid.
Let's be honest, eh?
GaGa has not suddenly started highlighting global issues or sending out actual messages regarding the negative aspects of free trade or materialism. The video's so-called 'social commentary,' doesn't actually critique anything at all. It also seems to be aimed at a rather odd demographic: people elitist enough to snigger corporate brainwashing or depressing dominant values in society, yet feeble-minded enough to succumb to the common place fame hungry Lady GaGa. It's littered with enough pop cultural references for anyone who is interested in anything to pull out and 'identify with', with some controversy thrown if for good measure. She is, at best, another Emimen.
And even then, lyric and wittiness-wise, one could argue that she doesn't even come close. GaGa hasn't yet managed to weave any of her so-called messages, the famed sardonic wit or her cited influences (the German poet, Rilke, or David Bowie) into her music - thus making her seem like a vacuous name dropping prick. GaGa's music lies in the performance and costumes, rather than the actual music itself - which is surely what music should actually be about. Despite what she says about her music having, 'real, genuine, like, soul of innovation, ' it just simply doesn't. It's basic pop, derivative and shows no lyrical talent.

Her songs lack genuine emotion; so what you get when she performs live in an effort to put 'emo-shon' into her songs is a lot of grunting and shouted lines while wearing a see-through throng combined with 34 backing dancers dressed as foetuses, and a lion suspended from the ceiling spraying blood (the latter prop is to ensure controversy). It's about as formulaic as you can get. GaGa herself is a brand surrounded by her Haus of GaGa cronies who style and advise her. GaGa - who thinks she is the epitome of avant-garde - is actually worried she isn't; the result of this: a demented, whoring attempt to fill in the blanks using other media and then cover it up with so-called "A-R-T".

The pop culture references that are deemed 'cool' are just an example of Sociologist theories stating that we no longer experience the world directly; it merely is presented to us as a representation. With Telephone what we have here is the best of the 80s condensed into a bite sized chunk and thrown back in our faces because it's 'cool'. GaGa hasn't created anything new, just regurgitated what has been done before and stamped GaGa TM on it.

There are plenty of truly artistic female artists out there (Bat for Lashes, Roisin Murphy, Bjork, St. Vincent,Regina Spektor, Karen O, Kang Mao to name but a few...) who sing fantastically, write their own - intelligent - lyrics, and play - rather than bang - their own instruments. They command a great stage presence without resorting to the obscene, stripping down to their undies in an attempt to be ironic, or moonlighting within extra-stupendous videos.

Unfortunately many of GaGa's fans don't "get" the idea of musicians anymore; instead they'd rather troll around on BBS boards to debate the meaning of a soul-less video, embrace her outfits more than her music and, regardless of sexual preference, jerk off to the feminist-misogynist that is Gaga's vague incoherent bottomless crack of a persona. Lady Gaga has given birth to an orgy of idiots who don't value true musicians or artists and has made an artistic license out of leading them to believe they are witnessing something that's distorting the boundaries of music and art.

They are witnessing nothing but this:
The rise of an Idiot

Nathan Barley idiot <-------------------> Lady GaGa

Obscene enough for ya?! (Fame Sleaze copyright - Tabitha's musings 2010)
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TaBByfan said...


Great article!!

You remind me a little of Cintra Wilson, but slightly meaner.

I love it. :)

wtf u/yer human doing in China?

Tabitha said...


My first comment, hurrah! I was worried it was going to be a GaGa 'monster'fan putting another curse on me. Ser'sly.

I am glad you enjoyed it and I managed to reach someone.

I currently work in China, or try to.

Peace and love.


Anonymous said...

Im am in fact a crazy Lady Gaga fan and everyone has the right to voice there opinion. But I'd like to say i don't like your article because you are telling Lady Gaga off and i don't liek you for that. Sorry if i seem immature with my comment but i just wanted to say what i thought.

Anonymous said...

Please check out my new article. I think a person/kitty with your intellect might enjoy it.

I love all of your writings, you are awesome!!

Gorilla Bananas said...

Are you supposed to listen to the words of pop songs? I just listen to the music. Lady Gaga's tunes sound very robotic to me, as if they were written by a computer. But her rump is quite good for a woman.

Anonymous said...

What I object to most – aside from being lied to and patronized – is the assumption by her fans: she is popular, ergo she is talented.

Here's the thing, I don't think she's brilliant and I don't think she's crap - I'm indifferent to her and her current opus.

When it comes to ‘Telephone’ I really do think it's a case of the Emperor’s new clothes – so props for speaking up.

Anonymous said...

well that was boring, i stopped when you wrote 'Anyway, we'll stop there' but you didn't. shame really. why don't you out your energy into something positive. whats funny about gaga is the fact that people like YOU get SO annoyed by it. why do you even give a shit?! snorrreeeeee. oh i guess leaving this comment was a bit hypocritical but i do think you need to wake up and stop giving a shit about popstars. you sound jealous. unluxx

Anonymous said...

Feminism isn't about man hating? lol on what planet??

elen said...

Wow! That was really interesting! A *bit* catty but fascinating. I live in a bubble. I had no idea who this woman was until today. Wow... wow.

Having read this excellent deconstruction I'm not sure I have anything to gain from further exposure.

My main impression? She sounds like the kind of pop hero our culture deserves. Now I feel so haughty and ivory-tower-like.

Congrats on working in China! I studied there several years ago and I loved it.

Anonymous said...

lmao I love how the gaga fan is all mad that you write a a lengthy blog over your dislike for gaga. Dare they write about anything they dislike..people can only write about what THEY like. Maybe people are writing about gaga because she is famous yet a horrible 'artist' and it disgusts people, and thank god those people speak out or i'd go crazy thinking I am alone.
everything I read was an "aha" moment, in other words, I feel exactly the same.

Anonymous said...

To the person who just commented above me, I am glad you're not the only one who hates Gaga and that you feel very well accompanied on this web page. Unfortunately for you, there are millions of lil monsters out there who love and support Gaga (such as myself). If you don't like an artist or celebrity then WHY THE HELL DO YOU GOOGLE THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE? Pls, get a life and quit hating on someone you don't know and has never done anything to hurt you. Thanks and goodbye.

Tabitha said...

Hey fans and haters!

I'm just happy to know some people have read this.If you don't bother reading it because you are a GaGa fan, then that's a bit silly. You should learn to read negative things about things/people you like - it just helps you validate why exactly you like it and you can makes sure that you aren't just following the crowd.
The main gripe I have with GaGa is that she isn't original and she does have a massive team behind her. She is a pop star, and an entertaining pop star, but that's it. She isn't intelligent, her music pushes no boundaries, her videos say nothing and she is just out to shock.
Right now she is rocking the world by wearing meat. Well done. Carolee Schleemann did this in the 60s. You know, Carolee Schleemann and her 'meat art' installation. What's that I hear you cry? She was probably referencing the New York artist? Then that's not originality. If she was referencing Schleemann, then she missed the point. Schleemann's art had meaning and was the result of a process of exploration in eroticism, not the result of a brainstorm meeting where people discussed 'How can GaGa *shock* sheltered people in the comfort of their own home?'

If she is attempting to simply reduce music and 'art' to just empty concepts valued for their shock factor, then that's worrying.

Anyway, that's my two cents. I don't hate the woman, I'm sure she is very nice. I just don't think GaGa fans should get superior and suddenly assume that everyone who doesn't get her is 'sheltered' from reality, when it's really the other way round.

For the people who have offered positive words - Thank you =^..^= x

Anonymous said...

I love you. I love that you have said this. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Gaga is a musical, artistic and marketing genius. During this horrible economy, she is the only pop star who brought back decadent glamour and haute haute couture, which no one would really think of doing during this bleak time. She allowed people like me escapism from the reality of everything.

The visual aspects of her video are stunning and it's no wonder there's a scholarly website dedicated to studying Gaga (Gaga Stigmata) by career PhD scholars,so they clearly know what they are talking about. Bad Romance is an absolutely gorgeous video, visually stunning and breath taking. Telephone is brilliant as it doesn't just recapitulate a scene at a party in a literal sense as per the song, but invokes multitude pop cultural references in under 10 minutes.

Interestingly, a lot of her music is in the minor key, quite a few starting with a black key (such as E flat minor) which is even more unusual than starting on a white key (such as B minor). This is shocking in pop music as I assume that all pop music will be in the more easily accessible major key. This helps her to transpose the same (admittedly) overplayed song into different chromatic progressions during her live performances so it sounds fresh each time, no matter how many times I've heard "Just Dance". I had piano lessons back in the day, so I learned some superficial music theory, but really am a hack. Gaga, however, is classically trained on the piano and CAN play variations on her music off the top of her head which is rather impressive.

Indeed, Gaga is the only pop artist now who actually sounds better during her live performances than her studio albums. I actually prefer the youtube live performances rather than her albums as they are more passionate and raw, as her studio albums are rather flawless and perfect. Maybe that's why critics find her superficial as the studio versions of her songs (being fixed) don't really capture her passion and artistry that she expresses on stage.

Great musical legends and icons also attest to her musical genius including Bruce Springsteen, Sting,Paul McCartney, Cyndi Lauper, Cher, Elton John, et al.

Please listen to Teeth and You and I (Today Show performances),and her sweet lullaby-like song about her little monsters, Living on the Radio (may not be released on her BTW album). I was shocked that Teeth is a Gaga song, as it really is extremely unique, and has amazing sound effects that I never heard anywhere else. You and I, living on the radio are both evocative and emotive, rivaling and perhaps exceeding the Lilith Fair group in the 2000s.

I thank you for adding criticism to Gaga as it helped me, as you mentioned, to formulate just why I find her a huge genius and why she is the first artist since the 1990s (TLC, Salt-N-Pepa, et al) that I have followed! Didn't care for the 2000s, then Gaga exploded onto the scene and captivated me, to say the least.

Indeed, my friends and family don't understand my frank obsession, and neither did I only in my heart, but now that I'm able to articulate, I can marvel even more what a great artist (and legend) Lady Gaga truly is in a rational and studied manner.

So want to share this with all of us little Monster Fans. Go Lady Gaga, Paws UP!

Anonymous said...

Please search online and read Gaga Stigmata. It will show you what a great genius she is, and the more research I do about Lady Gaga, the more and more brilliant she is, it's shockingly impressive.

You did mention that you like to do research into the truth of the matter, so please look at Gaga Stigmata, her work, music, performance art are all breathtaking. It will change anyone's mind. She is a legend.

Anonymous said...

I really think Gaga is a CIA construct - meant to enfeeble the minds of young people. There is no dissension, no questioning - there is just mindless acceptance of the (not radical) beat. It isn't too far-off. Gloria Steinem and Christopher Hitchens both admit that back in the 60s the CIA funded "left-wing" magazines they were part of, not to mention the CIA funding of abstract artists as a way of suppressing/marginalizing politized/revolutionary artists.

The irony is in how she has created her persona behind the persona. She is not the suffering little ugly lower-class girl picked on by the mean girls but a upper-class indulged brat who is all entitlement to her fame. And we are supposed to feel good about being able to smell her blood and come (literally and figuratively). Let us eat cake you know. The sad thing is that her main audience is 13 year olds (and I've seen 5 year olds be transfixed by her music).

Great article. Glad there are more people who haven't drank the gaga kool-aid.

Anonymous said...

PS re my comment today:

You are right about the 50 cent crowd aka cultists and paid devotees who hail gaga with well-prepared defense, trawling the web for any attack on her brand. It is also disturbing her use of Hail in reference to her non-hate of men. (item: Gaga says she isn't a feminist because she doesn't hate men, in fact hails them, as indicated in the blog posting "not buying it" that brought me to your blog in the first place) So Gaga doesn't know what a feminist is? What did they teach her at Tisch? Just the scales?

Mɵᴅʊsa said...

I know this is old, but I just want to say that this is one of the best deconstructions of Gaga I have yet read.

Thank you! It's nice to read someone with real, actual, intelligence and education.

Anonymous said...

Very well written and 100 per cent true. If Lady CACA can hold your attention for two seconds..youre an idiot.